Weblog van: Galitta Tassa

Satsang with Izik Shapiro

Toegevoegd op 16-06-2008 om 10:17

The first time I visited Satsang, I was just curios. I heard Izik talk about the here and now and I new he can teach me something I didn’t get yet. So I went to Satsang where he invited anybody to sit with him and ask a question or share an observation. They called it “meeting in truth”

Being there gave me such peaceful feeling that I could not identify it source and I was captivated, I went every single evening he was visiting Amsterdam, for two weeks.

He was talking about our mind creating illusion that kept us in constant resistant with what is; that create suffering. This idea was new to me, later the book “the power of now“ of achhart toller will teach the same issue but Izik didn’t only talk about it, he let you feel it until you see your own mind trickery. Every time another person came to tell their story or question you could see what they could not see, be amazed about it, and then discovered you where doing the same thing in your own way.

Then I understood what was happening, in the space the Satsang created, my mind got quite and I could see in what mental noise I was living in.

On the first night I sat to ask my question, I was sure he would not find a solution to this enormous pain. But he asked me “who are you”? And I could not answer; I said I can not see it. And he said It can not be seeing, the people in the room obviously heard it before, they where smiling at me with amusement.

He was guiding me to feel myself beyond my body and my mind until I found myself expanding to universal IS. He called it “that one who is aware”.

That felt strange and peaceful and I tasted it. Experiencing BEING beyond the limitation of our mind is liberating experience, and I kept coming every night for two weeks.

Every person brought his own universe, and the verity of the people, the problems, the culture and attitude made the satsang to be the best, surprising theater I had ever seen.

Evolving with this satsang I could see that every character exist in us so when we didn’t like someone or looked down at some body all it showed is our relationship to ourselves. That made my work with my Sub personality deeper and more profound. Every time a person will treat Isaac as a guru, he will turn him back to himself, with love and humor. People came with terrible stories and trauma but they would leave with a shining face.

I have learned a lot about my own resistance parts and my holding on to struggle, I kept going every year they visit, and I m still grateful for Satsang of izik Shapiro.

 

In love with Amsterdam

Toegevoegd op 27-05-2008 om 20:12

Amsterdam is a beautiful, straightforward, artistic girl with a naughty reputation. I find her very romantic, not only because I found my love here, but because the calm and uniqueness of this city kept my spirit naïve and my love life fresh.

It is 9.45 in Amsterdam and for a change it is sunny.

I have a big smile on my face; Amsterdam is the only city in the world that wakes up so late.

Her secret is that she is actually a village; you can go through all of her in few hours, walking or on a bicycle.

Amsterdam is a beautiful, straightforward, artistic girl with a naughty reputation. I find her very romantic, not only because I found my love here, but because the calm and uniqueness of this city kept my spirit naïve and my love life fresh.

Paris is too big, Venice deserted. Amsterdam is evolving, transcultural and artistically innovative.

I live in Amsterdam for so long and I still write in English, the rest of Holland is unhappy with me but Amsterdam is forgiving.

Maybe some people experience Amsterdams dark side. Everything and everybody has an ugly side. I love her for displaying her restrooms with no shame or hypocrisy. At least in Amsterdam the restroom has big windows so the sun can come in.

The other day I came back from a rehearsal around 23.00 pm riding playfully my bicycle back home, I sang out load and felt 21 years old again, safe, free at night in Amsterdam.

 

My first impression of Amsterdam was set for love and art from the very beginning.

I met my beloved and I was modeling for artists.

So all day everyday for 4 years I was in art studios, classes and schools with students and artists practicing to draw my lines and character. It was fun.

I also started to create music and performances and fell in love with the freedom to be myself, hear my own voice.

Born in Jerusalem, you experience living with heavy loyalty to your culture group and family. In Amsterdam I am just Galitta, no other title, no body calls me daughter of…

No stereotype connected to my tribe.

After 18 years, I am still in love with her and consider it my second birthplace, I am still in love with my beloved and our two children, still in love with music and art.

So for me Amsterdam is the most romantic girl in the world.

The secret life of a woman (part one)

Toegevoegd op 27-05-2008 om 03:01

It is 10 am on Saturday morning and we are getting ready to go out.My daughter who grew up to be an outspoken girl doesn’t agree with the cloths she needs to wear. My son with his ever-lasting happiness jumps on the bed with joyful shrieking that vibrates in my head so hard my knees get soft.We are late.

I am too sensitive to sounds, I observe for the third time this week. My daughter of seven keeps repeating her choices and reasons and my wise husband steps quickly into the shower.

My son is shouting on the bed, not dressed up yet. My daughter comes closer to me to be sure I get her argument and the fact that she is right.

The fact that I didn’t send the production mail last night, floats in my head, a flash reminder to call the guitarist, bass player, the assistant and my partner.

Suddenly I have no place to hold all of it in, my head is full of penetrating sounds and I am over exhausted.

My daughter starts to cry for not getting the response she needs, and my beloved does not hear anything under the water.

My knees collapse, I burry my head on the pillow on the floor and break down.

I can’t stop crying.

Both my children come to comfort me and I can’t hide myself.

In the back of my head I have a discussion about crying in front of the children.

‘I have an honesty policy’ I remind myself, ‘I don’t hide my feelings’.

My mother always went to cry in secret. I was very tuned to my mother and I felt her sorrow even when she was pretending nothing was wrong. It did not install any confidence or relief in me.

My son holds my head as if he is giving me healing with his eyes closed, and my daughter runs to tell papa that mama is crying.

I am still choking and wondering about my state of mind. I feel in the twilight zone, my menstruation is late, and I am never late.

Clouds of fear are floating in my head, saying my life would be over,.

The discussion in my head now asks, ”How are we suppose to raise children with all those hormones flying about?”

What would I do if I am with child? Can I handle another traumatic birth? Can I survive another cesarean section? Again two years of body and soul busy with running a marathon? Would my creative life be over or is it just fear?

My daughter squeezes me tight and I am finally smiling at them. When they feel the storm is over they both get dressed and my daughter tells papa who joins us that she made mama cry.

“It was not you”, I smile at her.

“Do you know the story of the camel that walked in the desert with too much baggage on his back?”

My daughter seems interested.

“Well, then came a little piece of straw flying in the wind…”